Haley's House (and LuLu Too!)

New Blog

2010-04-27T08:31:00.001-07:00

Follow my new blog at www.farriswheelpottery.blogspot.com!

C is for.....

2009-10-14T22:33:00.000-07:00

CRACK... which seems to be the answer these days if A) I can't lose weight on this Thermogenic diet plan and B) if I can't find a part time job or a way to make extra money.

Short and Sweet today but there's not much more to say or emphasize the above. Desperate times provoke desperate thoughts.

H

B is for.....

2009-09-21T13:08:00.000-07:00

BOYS...... People often wonder or ask why I'm still single? I just smile back and courteously reply with a "I just haven't found the right one yet." What I really want to do is slap them silly and ask if they have any other interests besides my love life. The real answer is that I truely think that i have dated BOYS and not MEN. There is a difference and there are many more "boys" to be found. I love boys...love to flirt with boys.. love to dance with boys.. but I want to marry a man and I won't settle for anything less. Unless Justin Timberlake shows up at my door because I don't care what his classification is. I can dance, flirt and marry him.

B is also for BOOTS. And not just any boots... Cowboy Boots! You cannot grow up in the Mississippi Delta and not own a pair of boots. They say many things about a guy... hardworker, handy, strong...etc... And as for a girl... well.. a guy once told me a real woman owned a dirty pair of boots and a polished pair of heels. I agree.

Honorable mentions for B: Brittney Spears and Beyonce..they both rock!

I'm BACK!!!!!

2009-09-17T16:07:00.000-07:00

Okay so I admit.. sheer laziness and several uninspiring months have led to my writer's block. But I have been reading a good bit and now feel as though I caught a brand new wind! I won't let you down this time.

My little friend Carter has recently started Kindegarten at what we like to refere to as the "big kids school". Her new journey and enthusiasm in this new chapter of her life is the inspiration for the new series I'm about to enterain you with.

4 year old Kinder world is apparently when you learn the alphabet (I personally don't remember, I was way more interested in my social activities). Carter's class has made it all the way to the letter D and each week I listen to her recite all of the items and characters that she can think of that coordinate with the current week's letter. I also gave her several ideas that came to mind when I thought of a certain letter (some approved and some not approved from her parents). So I would like to share my incite to the wonderful life changing, couldn't live without it, Alphabet.

Each day will feature a different letter... can't let all of the goodies and thoughts in my head out at once!

A is for.......................

Alcohol. Now by no means to want to classify myself or sound like a lush, because I'm not. But I do enjoy a glass of Pinot Noir at night while reading or a Stoli and tonic with a splash (just a splash) of cranberry socially. And on special occasions I like to indulge in a Flirtini from Panasia (great Martini bar if that's your flavor!) Now, I've never really been a beer girl...too many calories and causes unecessary bloating which is just NOT attractive in a bathing suit. I prefer to take my own spirits when floating the river. However, I am human and do have faults and the downfall of all things classy and social is RED BULL and VODKA (a.k.a. the evil spaun). I mean, we're basically talking social retardation here, not to mention a lot of dance moves that require some serious stretching and body massages the next day.

*Note to self: RB&V is not a miracle drink that turns you into Britney spears or Lady Gaga.

A is also for Alice + Olivia. My dream day to day wardrobe. Recently I have found the most perfect dress and I like to think of all the places I would wear it.. The MTV Movie Awards, a guest spot on The Tonight Show, New Years Eve, a boxing match in Vegas.... Don't roll your eyes! A girl can dream can't she??? If you don't think it is fabulous than you need to get out more often or possibly change your magazine subscriptions. Seriously.. a girl without good resources for shopping is comparible to a baby without a bottle. Sad.

Top Ten Best Britney Spears Moments

2009-02-17T22:09:00.000-08:00

HOORAY for Britney and her road to comeback. I never stopped believing! Although I am still pulling for a Britney Justin reunion, I will settle for now with where she is today and her awesome (yes, I said the word AWESOME) new album... CIRCUS... "All eyes on me, in the center of the ring, just like a circus...."

In case some of you didn't know I was given a new laptop and have really discovered (for myself) the world of You Tube. For example.. it is 12 AM and I am still up because I have been watching all of Miss Britney's MTV VMA performances. I do this from time to time.. you do realize that I live alone and I work too much so I have to live vicariously through someone else's life every once in a while... No harm and it's therapeutic!!

So here goes... and by the time you finish reading, you will definitely want to dance..

1. Britney's OOPS I DID IT AGAIN VMA performance. If you haven't ever seen it... watch it. Trust me. I used to try to mirror some of this in my dorm room. I broke my lighted stand mirror during one of the thrusts/side kicks.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YkUIg7lqQ1Q

2. Britney's SLAVE FOR YOU music video. Um, hello... Who wouldn't want to dance like that???
I still listen to this when I get dressed to go out...

3. Britney's documentary.. Britney Spears :For the Record. Okay.. so maybe it wasn't as deep as something you would see on 20/20 but it was way better than any Tom Cruise couch jumping shit on Oprah. In a way it was inspiring and it made you proud of her. And her dad may be a wife beater wearing redneck from the swamps but at least he cares about her.

4. Britney Spears SuperBowl halftime performance - okay so if you have never watched this one.. you should as well. It was probably the best SB half time show ever (because MTV produced it and thanks to Janet Jackson's boob faux pas we now have to watch dank stuff like Bruce Springsteen -he may be THE BOSS, but he "ain't got no rhythm". **Bonus! Ben stiller makes a cameo and is hilarious.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_-oJKyHHxKk

5. Britney Spears performance with Michael Jackson at Madison Square Gardens. It's really one of the only times he actually looked cool in the past twenty years. (I mean, for goodness sakes... his kids wear veils and are named BLANKET, Paris, and Prince Michael.)

6. Britney Spears MTV VMA Slave for you performance. Who else would hold a yellow python? Let's face it... what guy wouldn't like to see a girl dancing half naked with a snake?? GENIUS!

7. Britney's relationship with Justin Timberlake. There hasn't been a cuter couple since Johnny and June. I mean, they really should just get back together. It might bring some light to this sad world facing nothing but a bad economy, war, and pyscho Iranian and North Korean nuclear weapons.

8. Britney Spears Pepsi commercial with Pink and Beyonce. We Will ROCK YOU. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SkELRp4wKPs

9. Britney Spears comeback win at the 2008 VMA's. Nothing like three MOON MEN to get your confidence back!

10. Britney's separation from K_FED, Sam Lufti, and Adnand Ghalib. What a bouquet of total douche bags. I mean, talk about a low point in your life. Hopefully her choice in men can only go up from here! Don't worry Brit! There is someone out there for the both of us!!

until next time....

Don't hold your breath for too long..

I do...I Don't. Top Ten things you should NOT do for your wedding

2009-01-07T12:58:00.000-08:00

Happy New Year everyone! Christmas time in the retail business can certainly slow you down and take you away from life's top priorities...such as blogging!

Many of you got engaged or know someone who got engaged over Christmas. The combination of this knowledge and the printing of the annual Mississippi Magazine Wedding Registry have led me to offer some advice...well really just a matter of opinion.

1. Do not take waste your wedding photographer's time by having photos taken with your beloved animals in your wedding attire.

2. Do not put anything besides flowers on the top of your cake, if anything at all. Plastic bride and grooms are so 80's (even though I probably wouldn't have used them then either).

3. Do not incorporate CHERRY RED into your color scheme. You do not want it to look like Cupid threw up in your photos. Go with a garnet or berry color if you must...

4. Do not overdue your hair. The Prom look is OVER. In fact, I'm not too sure when it ever began or why but subtle is best. You want people to look at you, not your hairsprayed coif on top of your head.

5. Do not hire a photographer who has sample photos of wedding parties jumping in the air. Why? It's a church..not a moonbounce.

6. Do not pick a bridesmaids dress for the simple fact that it fits you (the bride) wonderfully. Take into consideration your attendants body types and pick something that flatters most. Strapless may be popular but doesn't flatter all. While big is beautiful, size 16 girls should not wear strapless!!!

7. Do not take single shots of yourself blowing kisses at the camera. It's not a Playboy centerfold, it's your wedding day.

8. Do not publish those shots.

9. Do not overdue the number of your wedding party. It's not a family or class reunion. The wedding party should consist of the people that are near and dear to your heart. And believe me, people know when they are "fillers" for the bride or groom's side.

10. Do not wear Tiaras!!! I understand that most women have an inner princess but that's just what it is...internal. This is not Disneyland and you are not Cinderella. It is not even okay to wear the accessory when you have your wedding at Disneyland and stand in front of the magic castle. (Which should be a bonus DO NOT) but I will not shatter everyone's dreams.

XOXO,
Haley

Top Ten things I have acheived in 30 years

2008-11-02T15:45:00.000-08:00

Well just about 10 days now to the big dreadful 3-0. I try to tell myself that 30 is the new 20 but who am I kidding? I'm now about 10 years shy of the beginning stages of crows feet and my score in the fertility department has just dropped a few!! I always thought I would be married by now and mothering a couple of sweet babies, driving an SUV and going on second honeymoons with my "husband". Or alternative #2: living bi-coastal in LA and New York, gracing the pages of just about every gossip magazine, winning an Oscar, and shopping rodeo drive and 5th avenue in my spare time. YEAH RIGHT to both 1 and 2!!!! Ha!

However, even though, the good Lord didn't agree with either of my plans, I still have acheived several things in life that no one else has. I am determined to make the most out of what I have been given and label myself as UNIQUE.

1. I have managed to hit, with my vehicles, just about every object that stands still in Mississippi. Some things in Tenessee too. According to "Haley's Laws", it's not my fault if you parallel park too tightly next to me.

2. I have managed to stay on top of the latest and greatest fashion even if it means bouncing a few checks or not eating correctly for a few days. What's a little weight loss? Makes the clothes fit better!

3. I learned to appreciate music at an early age. While my parents hung out in separate rooms of the house (then married) either not speaking to each other, or yelling really loud, I discovered that there were WAY cooler channels than Nickelodeon and thus began my infactuation with MTV. I was a witness to the first music video and idolized Madonna for much of my childhood. I am still a fan of all things music.

4. I have single handly picked every emotionally closed off, crackhead, could be gay, to good to be true men to date that the world has to offer. I mean, on the positive side I could write one of those stupid self help books titled "what not to bring home to the parents" and probably make a lot of money from it and still be able to live out alternative #2 dream life.

5. I have been blessed with the most wonderful beautiful groups of friends that there ever could be. From highschool, to college, from Memphis to Jackson and Greenwood, I have magnetically been drawn to some of the most unique and fun people that will stay with me the rest of my life. When I get married, it will take an entire church just to house the bridesmaids! (EmilyPost would not appreciate that.)

6. I, along with my friends, managed to turn my dad's hair gray when we were in highschool. He was my guardian and my friends decided that we couldn't wait to get to college to let loose. We began in about the 9th grade and had to take a breather when we got to college. Ask my dad about all the times he inspected my car only to find cigarette holes (not mine of course!), vomit, and stale McDonalds cheeseburgers glued under the back seat. Not to mention the time raw eggs were thrown at the wall in the den. (another story..another time)

7. I have set a record for bridesmaids dresses worn in a lifetime. In addition to the 17 weddings I have been in since June of 2000, I often dressed up in my aunts old bridesmaids dresses as a child. I guess that was some sort of twisted foreshadowing. If only i had known that I would "always a bridesmaid, never a bride".
** on a side note...you should always consult your friends with taste on your dresses. It is just cruel to make someone wear something unflatterly or homely looking.

8. I have ridden a bull. Yes, I have. A mechanical one, but I still rode it and am still proud. I'm even considering putting that one on my resume should I ever have to look for another job.

9. I worked for a man who was one of Elvis' best friends. I got a total inside look into this legend's life on a daily basis and talk to Pricilla a good bit on the phone. However, the man I worked for, forgot he wasn't that cool anymore and lost his job so I lost mine.

10. I have overcome the most difficult and unmanagable hair that anyone could ever be born with. Even a perm that I still have hard time forgiving my mother for due to the fact that some punk called me RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE POODLE when I had a sunburn and the perm. I'm not going to sugar coat it. It left a scar. Thousands of dollars in hair products and a miracle known as the CHI have made this journey possible though.

Happy early birthday to me!
Haley

Top Ten Must Have's For Fall

2008-08-28T11:53:00.000-07:00

A new fashion season is upon us so it's time to clean out our closets and make room for the latest trends and constant staples in our closets! On that note, I have compiled a list of things that you should have in your closet this season. I have people watching for many years and in my opinion, there is just no excuse for some of the Faux pas that are out there! Magazines are at everyone's disposal and most magazines provide a shopping list for every budget and life style. And if you don't have time to read, then turn on the TV!! Gossip Girl and Sex in the City together were the best things for the fashion industry and if you have cable you are set!

1. PURPLE
Now I'm not saying you have to dress like Barney but Purple is a huge color this season and if worn properly it looks really good. And for those of you who automatically think that it doesn't suit your skin tone or your hair color, give me a break. Be Brave! Have you tried it on?

2. LEATHER
It's time to channel Pat Benatar..Love is a Battlefield. Who doesn't feel cool in leather? I'm not really sold on the leather leggings yet because I would think you might have to be anorexic to wear them (and I do not want to promote eating disorders, just enhance your fashion taste) and I haven't been really impressed so far. However, the racks are lined with great leather jackets this year. Cropped, tailored, tied, colored, etc. Go for it! But please, no leather upon leather. It's not appropriate. Okay?

3. SCARVES
There are several new ways to tie scarves this year. If you really can't figure it out then, please stop by 325 C Howard Street ( I do not give out home addresses because of all of my fans and stalkers out there...haha! ) and I will be happy to show you a couple of simple throws and knots. See Rachel Bilson for a good example. If you don't who she is, then you should.

4. PLAID
This one is tricky and should not be abused so that you look like a Scottie Dog. If you are going to take the vertical and horizontal road of mutli colors then you should travel with blues, greys, and blacks. Grey being the prodominant color.

5. COSTUME JEWELRY
This should be a staple in one's jewelry box and if you don't have a great grandmother who was stylish and passed down all those ornate goodies to you then get on EBAY or check out estate sales. The bigger the better! Earrings are my personal favorite.

6. NAVY BLUE or PURPLE NAIL POLISH

Need I say more?

7. BOOTS
And I'm not talking about just any kind of boots here. You can go one of two ways: Ankle or Slouch. More than likely, they will not be worn with the same thing either so don't think you can just be cheap and buy one or the other. Save up and buy both. My recommendation on the choice of material would be suede. Black, dark brown, or grey. Hey...maybe even some purple if you think you can pull it off!!!

8. LACE
No matter how conservative or revealing you go with this one, your significant other will be wanting more later. Lace covers the bases of feminine and sexy. Two components that women should always try to incorporate, no matter what. It is your job to look like the female that God made you and it is also partly your job to keep the flame going in your relationship.

9. RUFFLES
Again, you were made a woman so absorb the gift and flaunt it as feminine as possible!!! Ruffles can be worn vertical or horizontally layered. But if you already have some junk in the trunk or floating devices up top you should steer clear of layering in those areas. Unless you want to be Kim Kardashion or Pam Anderson.

10. BELTS
Fat, Skinny, tied, buckled, (not Velcro) you can't go wrong. You can take a belt and transform any outfit or dress into a totally new piece in a flash. Don't do faux leather though...A good fat leather belt is a good investment and we recycle for many decades to come.

Yours Fabulously,

Haley

Top Ten Reasons I Haven't Updated My Blog

2008-08-01T18:32:00.000-07:00

Note from the editor: I realize that it is not Tuesday and therefore not appropriate to send a "Top Ten Tuesday" Post. However, these days, EVERY day just runs together.

1. My New Job: For those of you who didn't know, I have left the hotel world and trotted across the street to the Cooking School. I know what you are thinking... and NO you don't have to be a gourmet cook to work at a cooking school. It keeps me very busy. Today I had to go stand in the walk in freezer TWICE just to cool down.

2. My weekends: Lately, a force has taken over me and I have just basically GONE OUT every single weekend this summer. I mean, normally, I take a break here and there. There is only so many times you can go to Websters Bar and Grill. But something about the season has come over me and I have gone out, stayed out, and missed out due to some pretty obnoxious hangovers. I will spare you details because some of them could be rather alarming but I felt it necessary to add this reason into my list to explain my blog absence.

3. My Growing Book Collection: I have also been reading a lot in my spare time. Ever since The Other Boleyn Girl, I have been very addicted to Phillipa Gregory's books and have read almost all of them. I am also very addicted to any and all info about the Tudor Era. Henry the 8th was such a LOSER in case you didn't know or don't remember your world history studies. He also had VD's. Who Knew that even royals back in the 15th century had crabs!

4. My Shopping Addiction: Most of my computer time has been spent ordering things on the internet. Since I don't have time or the resources to shop in G'wood, I utilize the greatest invention EVER (next to the CHI straightening iron)....The Internet. In case any of you haven't been around me in a while, I have purchased new curtains for my bedroom and a lot of clothes that I don't need. I have also purchased a lot of clip on earrings due to my recent ear issue. (see article below)

5. My travels: UM, HELLO! I was such the jet setter a month ago to and from New York. I should have actually blogged about all the things that disturbed me about the people in New York (like the Gay Pride Parade participants) but due to all the "above" I have been unable too.

6. My Dog LuLu: LuLu has really taken on the personality of a human child and she acts out a lot. I feel that some of my so called "spare" time should be spent trying to retrain her to thinking she is a dog and a well behaved one at that.

7. My Addiction to Project Runway: Yes, the 5th season has begun and it completely wipes out Wednesday evenings for me (Wednesday is usually one of my easier days and a day that I get home at a decent hour so therefore I should have time for blogging). And on side note, GOSSIP GIRL (the best show EVER and will totally get a Top Ten list from me) will begin on September 1 and will wipe out Monday nights as well.

8. My Friend's Baby Showers: In case you didn't know...EVERYONE is pregnant besides me (which is a good thing I guess, considering I'm not married). I've got three baby showers in the works and I'm trying really hard to let someone else do the majority of the planning for once ( I can be kind of a control freak..but let's just face it..I consider myself to have good taste). Needless to say, the showers are a distraction to my blogging. But I can't wait to meet all the babies!!

9. My Obsession with Redectorating My Bedroom: I do admit, I LOVE a project. Money or no money, I'm going to finish the task in my time, rather than the responsible budgeted time. I spend about 95% of my time at home in my bedroom. I have a huge tv, a comfy bed, mirrors, dvd player, clothes, books, etc. It is only natural that I would want to jazz up my favorite room in the house!

10. My out of whack priorities: I could have found time to blog but I put a lot of emphasis on clothes, vodka and wine, cyber shopping, decorating, romance novels, crazy animals, etc. I promise to do much better from here on out.

Be young, Be fabulous,
Haley

Top Ten THINGS I Cannot Live Without

2008-06-10T13:51:00.000-07:00

Good afternoon all! First and foremost I would like to give a shout out to Sean Combs who has AGAIN changed his moniker. Yes, he has taken it back to where it all began to PUFF DADDY! This will be the seventh time he has changed his name. And they say women are never satisfied...

Okay.. Top Ten Things that I Cannot Live Without.

In addition to The Bible....

1. DIOR SHOW Blackout Mascara - I was born almost BARON in the eyelash department. This was just one of those genetics that, in addition to many other, went to my younger sister, Erin.

2. CHI - What did I ever do before this thing was invented?? I mean, I guess I was satisfied when I looked in the mirror before I left the house because I didn't know any better? If you knew me before the CHI days there were times on rainy and humid days when I looked as though I was channeling the SNL great Rosanna Rosanna Danna.

3. People Magazine Subscription - My Saturday guilty pleasure! How else would I know who is dating who, real life heros to aspire to be like, and successful weight loss stories?

4. I-Pod Shuffle - Let's face it. Working out sucks no matter what. But if you have old school Michael Jackson and great 80's hair bands on their, it makes the pain seem minimal.

5. Zoverax - I keep a constant supply of this medication. I love the sun but as repayment for damaging my skin, my body produces monster fever blisters in the summer!! Before you shout out the "H" word, these blisters are contraced in a harmless manner.

6. Photo Albums - From time to time look at my albums and drift into a place called college where life was great, parents paid for everything, friends were all around, and you drank four nights out of the week, dates were plentiful....

7. LULU - yes, she's something. Some of my friends have renamed her Poo Poo because of the treats she leaves behind when we go to visit. But I love her and her flaws. We just need to work on some manners..that's all.

8. Earrings - Okay so I ripped my ear lobe again for the third time in three years. Not sure what the problem is but I am off to Doctor Carter AGAIN for some stitches on June 18th. I just feel naked without them but I have found some lovely clip on substitutions until all has heeled.

9. Bracelets - I love my three David Yurman Bangles. I've worn them for so long that I would also feel naked without them. They are my security blanket.

10. Perezhilton.com - Where else can I go in the middle of a bad day and die out laughing because he has penciled the word "Douche bag" above Alec Baldwin's head for no reason? Well for several reasons but we won't get into that...He also always draws alien ears on Suri Cruise.

Ten Best Movie Soundtracks

2008-06-04T17:07:00.000-07:00

**Editor's note: Due to illness I was unable to deliver on Tuesday this week. I do expect you to feel sorry for me.

1. Top Gun-Take My Breath Away still takes my breath away. Except that I wish Tom Cruise hadn't gotten so weird.

2. Dazed and Confused-I'm not a drug user nor have I have consumed any type of narcotic, but this entire soundtrack and show make me just want to smoke GONJA.

3. Dirty Dancing-This entire soundtrack totally inspires me to be famous so I can be on Dancing With the Stars.

4. Grease-Brings poodle skirts and leather back in style everytime. Not greasy hair though. That is never acceptable.

5. Love Actually-This entire soundtrack just makes you want to be in love. But unfortunately, all it makes you do is wish...it doesn't grant wishes. Good tunes for the Holidays too!

6. Enchanted-Okay..Okay..so it may be cheesy but isn't there enough negative crack music out there??? While I may listen to the negative CRACK music, this is a nice change of pace. "How Will I knowwwwww...... that he loves me" is a much more positive influence than "Sucka Mutha F(&*&^&* shoot yo bro and yo ho...smokin' on dat weed...."

7. Footloose-I wish my prom had been that much fun. Sucked. The more I danced the bigger my hair got and my date hooked up with my best friend and he definately didn't have moves like Kevin Bacon.

8. The Bodyguard-Who didn't cry over old boyfriend to "I Will Always Love You."

9. Urban Cowboy-I mean, I definately think that "Looking for Love in all the Wrong Places" is the theme song of the past 10 years of my life.

10. ROCKY-Doesn't this just make you want to kick ass, acheive success, and dream big???

Ten Components That Make a Man Sexy

2008-05-28T07:14:00.000-07:00

1. Cooking - Who doesn't love to see a man in an apron whether he's on the grill or in the kitchen?

2. Kicking Some ASS - Who wouldn't want a guy to throw a punch in the name of LOVE! And I'm not talking about a bar brawl everytime you go out but just a good punch in your honor once or twice in your lifetime.

3. Playing Sports - Shows he's not lazy or a Wuss!!

4. Playing a musical instrument - I don't care if he's a Mozart or a SLASH wannabe..it's still sexy. (Understand that I do not want him to look like Slash, just have his talent)

5. Hunting - There is something so masculine about hunting season in general. That scruff on his face during hunting season.. the camo...

6. A Good Suit - You can take any guy and make him look totally different in a good suit and tie, or tux!

7. A Good Voice - The voice is crucial. His "phone" voice and "in-person" voice.

8. Ability to play with a small child - There is no better way to see someone's softer side than their interaction with a child

9. BOXERS - much better than briefs.

10. MANNERS.

Top Ten Comments Made at A Younger Sister's Wedding

2008-05-20T07:50:00.000-07:00

1. "You'll be next!". Really? Do you see any other siblings?
2. " Are you happy for your sister?" WTF??? Who says that? And who would answer "NO"?
3. "Mr. Right is somewhere out there with your name on him". I hope so because apparently I'm only attracted to Mr. Wrong.
4. "What have you been doing with your life?" Surfing and Surviving Great White Shark Attacks. Is that what you want to hear? (It probably would be more interesting than the truth.
5. "Do you have any children?" Do you SEE a ring on my hand?"
6. "How old are you now?" Why? Are you going to judge me if I'm not married already?
I'm 25.
7. "You have to catch the bouquet!" Why? I've caught like 7. That is either a stupid superstition or a bad omen.
8. "This is such a great party." Great and glad you are enjoying yourself. I don't know you. Now go mooch off the free food and bar some more.
9. "Your time will come." SERIOUSLY! How many more ways can you tell me that you feel sorry for me because I'm older, single, and enjoying my life just the way it is???
10. "We just love your sister." Good for you. I bet she doesn't know you either.

Stay Tuned.....

2008-05-14T13:23:00.001-07:00

Starting next week you will get to witness TOP TEN TUESDAYS. Hopefully these compiled lists will give you a slight insight into my life, my opinions and beliefs, and a few good laughs!

Take care...I'm off to Jackson for my sweet sisiter's wedding! Yea Erin!!

The Farris Do's and Don'ts of Life

2008-04-05T17:46:00.000-07:00

1. DO own a pet. Besides your children, it will be the greatest gift to both you and that pet in the world!

2. DON'T Give Jason Whaler or Brody Jenner their own reality shows. I mean, while I must admit to being slightly obsessed with reality television, there is no need to waste time or money on either of these two guys. Give the money and time to kids in Etheopia.

3. DO walk around with your girl friends holding hands. People will think you are celebrities! Not lesbians..

4. DON'T be obessed with Pageant life. It's just embarrassing. I promise there is more to life out there!

5. DO keep up to date with the latest fashions. There are plenty of inexpensive magazines out there with clothing and beauty suggestions of all price ranges. There is NO excuse to still live in the 80's or think that the style from that era is acceptable now.

6. DON'T get pregnant if you have legally switched your gender to MALE. This is just morally wrong and the only one who is going to truely feel awkward about this is your poor child when she gets older. She is bound to be labeled by teen society as a "weirdo". It's just selfish.

7. DO watch The Office! It is one of the greatest shows on television right now! It comes on Thursday nights at 8pm on NBC. Re-Runs are currently running on TBS on Tuesday nights at 9pm. And as a bonus suggestion...DO buy seasons 1 and 2 of the office. I can assure you lots of laughs when you are having a bad day!

8.
DON'T get up in people's faces and talk to the point where your noses touch. NO one wants to smell breath particles unless you have gum in your mouth or have just sat for about 30 minutes with listerine in there. It is also an awkward moment when someone gets up in your face that close. Unless you are single and it's a really cute guy....(and both of you have A+ breath).

9. DON'T complain about MY driving. It gets really old and I've worked to improve but apparently not to everyone else's standards. If you are going to grip the dashboard and take deep breaths everytime I turn a corner, then don't ride with me. Take your own car!!

10. DO cherish your friendships. Your friends could prove to be some of the best family you will ever have.

Burn Baby Burn

2008-03-18T08:22:00.000-07:00

Whomever put it into my head (I think it might have been my friend Megan) that March Sun is not as strong as June Sun was WRONG. I learned the hard way this past Sunday. As I set up my lounging chair on Sunday, combing the yard for the perfect spot, I decided that I really needed some natural sun and since it was only March there was no need for Sun Screen. Yes, I'm being serious. I'm not sure if I my brain just gives out on me at times or if I just choose not to think as a smart person would. I stayed out there, Ipod in hand, imagining it was I, not Rhianna, singing UMBRELLA at the VMA's, for a good hour and a half. I knew that I was extremely tired and had gotten a good bit of sun but nothing prepared me for the TOMATO that was staring back at me when I looked in the mirror Monday morning. I was so embarrassed to go work even! However, I have four good points to share with you as a result of this story:

1. Always wear sunscreen. No matter what time of year. Your skin is the only skin you have and it needs to be taken care of.

2. Don't listen to your friends who try to act like scientists but really aren't. There is a reason why they didn't explore a scientific field. (I believe the same person who once told me that about the Sun was the same person who convinced me all those years ago to use Baby Oil and Iodine at the beach and FRY again)

3. March Sun is as strong as June, July, or August Sun.

4. Vinegar is the cure all for sunburns.

By the way...did anyone see THE BACHELOR last night? The ONLY thing remotely attractive about the entire season is his accent. 98% of the girls looked like they stepped straight off the Vegas Strip. And the girl that slipped her panties in his pocket should be locked in her room by her parents!! If you have never watched it, this would not be the season to start. I would compare this litter of females ( and I say the word females hesitantly because some of the contestants look like women who used to be MEN) to the girls on FLAVOR OF LOVE (all seasons). TRASH.

Have a great rainy day,

Haley and LuLu

The Other Farris Girl

2008-03-10T13:13:00.000-07:00

First of all, I must apologize for my leave of absence. I reached a point last year where I felt uninspired and lazy and didn't feel like writing anything. I also forgot my password and couldn't log in. But just to catch you up to speed...NOTHING HAS CHANGED. My life is still boring and uneventful. LuLu is still selfish and displaying a diva dog like attitude more and more everyday.

Okay... so if you didn't already know my younger sister, Erin is getting married in May. While I love her dearly and think she truly has found a wonderful person to spend the rest of her life with, I couldn't wish May 17th here any faster. You ask why?
One recent example of how I have felt my placement in this family sliding to the side took place this past weekend. Erin and Drew had another engagement party and instead of being able to stay with my family, I had to make other sleeping accomidations because A). The house was full of family and Erin's friends, and B). They had forgotten about me when making those other arrangements. Sure. Thanks.
Thank you to my dear friend MARY STRATON who put LuLu and I up for the weekend.
(We enjoyed seeing the twins much more than Holly and Abby) . Basically my schedule has become Erin's schedule and where she goes on the weekends, I must follow.

On the brighter side of the weekend, I spent a lot of money, that I didn't have, on really cute clothes and accessories, sushi and a movie. If you haven't seen THE OTHER BOLEYN GIRL...Do! But only after you have read the book first.
The book is a must and I became very emotionally involved. The Movie was good and I really was emotional after it came to an end, but you still need to read the book in order to understand several things left out in the movie. Mary Straton will tell you she was somewhat disappointed but I was satisfied. She and I also have different movie tastes. She likes "Best in Show" and I like "Titanic".

And last but not least....Please don't vote tomorrow unless you are going to vote REPUBLICAN.

Hugs and cheers!
Haley

It Has Already Begun....

2007-08-30T13:25:00.000-07:00

I apologize for my absence but have recently been uninspired to write anything as the end of another summer comes to a sudden end. The thought of it just made me sad.

However......who said you can make the finale a big one???

Tomorrow morning I head out on the road to the last beach trip of the summer. I will be accompanied by my fellow party girls, Clare, Anna Catherine, and Courtney. LuLu is also going to have a friend named Brutus there.

I'll keep this short and brief as there will be much more to write about upon my return I'm sure, but can I just say that WE haven't even gotten on the road yet and CLARE

*Note to audience:
has already instigated trouble with some other fellow beach goers she met last April. And to top it off, this group of LSU tiger fans will be arriving at the

beach at the same time we are in a WINNEBAGO!
Sure. Don't worry, Clare and her "friends" have already made contact. If they are anything like the people that Clare has "made friends" with before, I'm scared.

Way to go Clare...this should be interesting.....

Pictured here is LuLu's new boyfriend Brutus.

Stay tuned.....

Where is Kristen Cavallari when you need her?

2007-08-14T12:56:00.000-07:00

Hi there Hope everyone got a good dose of reality television last night as season 3 of The Hills kicked off!

Now I know I probably should go in sequence of the show itself for those of you who shouldn't have missed it but did but I am just so baffled at the introduction of Audrina's boyfriend that all I can say is ARE YOU KIDDING ME? JUSTIN BOBBY? Justin or Bobby? Or is it just Justin or just Bobby. And was it just me or was he stoned the entire air time he was given?

So Audrina and Lauren are new roomies, bff, Ho's over bro's, etc.... I have to give Lauren props for admitting she wants to now date with a guy mentality as I wish that I could follow through with her new attitude myself. And the way she is caring on with her single social life reminds me of my senior year of college when I went out every night and managed to make exceptional grades! Should have been going out all the time, all four years of college then. However, just watching them was making me feel hungover. They need to slow down. Alcohol does NOTHING for the waist line.

Poor Heidi...NOT. Did she get some plastics done over the summer? or was it just me? Her nose looks similar to Michael Jackson's now. I mean, I'm all four the plastics when needed but these L.A. people..jeez. She should have saved the money and bought Spencer a Wig or maybe a normal haircut would have done. So the all star wannabe Nick and Jessica couple have a party in which the only activity that appeared to be fun was watching Brody Jenner bar tend. Sure. And then randomly scank Jen Bunney shows up and Heidi talks about how much her friendship means to her. Um, HELLO. That conversation only took place because Heidi has no other friends. I so would have gone with Lauren and Audrina to Les Deux in the hopes of seeing James Franco, or Jude Law, or maybe even Justin Timberlake rather than go to the housewarming party. I'm sure by all the sexcapades going on in there, there apartment is warm enough. Ewwwww!

Congrats to Whitney upon her graduation!! But she definitely needs to just get drunk. She totally bored me the entire two shows last night.

Then the WHOLE gang shows up for FRANKIES (who the hell is this?) birthday bash the next night at Les Deux. What did Heidi have on?? You can defiantly tell she is not with Lauren anymore. I would never let my friends walk out of the house in a dress that apparently came from Newport News and black and white herringbone coat. What about that entire ensemble was cool? She confronts Lauren and Lauren takes her head off and walks off. But if I was Lauren I wouldn't have held back. I would have straight up said what she did and then gone and given Perez Hilton all the scoop on her from when they were roommates. Talk about some serious revenge. (In case you are wondering, Heidi and Spencer started a "rumor" about Lauren and Jason "crackhead" Whaler making a sex tape. That subject for rumor's is SO old. Get a new one Hollywood!

Then in the next half hour we meet Justin Bobby. What a DOUCHE BAG. Now I am aware that I do use that word lightly but I truly have never meant it more except for maybe one other time talking about some "nameless" person in my past. REALLY?? Nice Hat. Nice Hair. NICE PERSONALITY. And what is up with the men of this show (all three seasons) not picking up their dates at their houses and coming to the door to get them. I don't care what part of the country you live in, manners are manners and etiquette is etiquette. Did Lauren look a little miffed when Audrina told her she was going to go out with Duh-head instead of the girls or was it just me? L.C. should just get over it. She's got Lo back. She's dating like a guy. What's the problem?

Now, even though Justin Bobby was my worst disturbance of the night, second place goes to Spencer Pratt. Did ANYONE else notice the place he bought his engagement ring? What kind of high-end jewelry store sales purses? and Belts? And are we for sure that the ring was real? and was it a diamond? I'm going to have to get my sources to look into this further. The look upon my face was just really upsetting the entire time he was in the store. LuLu however was snoring through the entire thing. Then when he "popped the question" was there ever a question? Or did I just miss that? What is wrong with these people? Bet MTV paid for the Bling/ring.

If Kristen Cavallari had been on the show, she would have called them all fools, bitches, and ho's, and moved on with it. She doesn't play around. Maybe on an Anniversary type show she could come back and be friends with Lauren or something and make Heidi cry. That would be cool. But then when it was all over she probably would make L.C. cry too. Gotta love her!

Oh and by the way, you all should check out NewPort Harbor tomorrow night at 9:30! This is replacing Laguna Beach. No one wanted to see Jessica back for another season so MTV moved up the coastline to another ritzy high school. CLAY is hot. Totally worth watching to look at him without a shirt on!!

Stay Tuned....

2007-08-13T13:56:00.000-07:00

I am too tired to write today and the wheels in my brain aren't turning well at all. I worked until 1:00am this morning and am crashing fast.

HAVE NO FEAR. After a solid power nap this afternoon, I will be ready to roll, and watch the hour long season premiere of THE HILLS tonight. Thank you to my pals at MTV who scheduled this for 9pm rather than 8 because I may still be a little groggy by 8. If you don't watch The Hills, it will highly offend me!

I promise you a full recap and commentary first thing in the morning!

Peace Out!
Ho's over Bro's
Hillary Clinton Sucks
Britney Spears is a crackhead
I love Jude Law

Haley's House of News....

2007-08-09T09:18:00.000-07:00

Good day everyone! It is time to bring you today's headlines as I see them. I apologize in advance for offending anyone of a certain political or celebrity preference. However, I do not apologize sincerely because if we are not on the same page, I don't want to waste my time debating. My mind is made up.

CAT FIGHT!!! (MEOW)

In the Reality world, it seems as though The Hill's costars Heidi Montag and Lauren "L.C." Conrad have no plans to reconcile. First of all, Lauren needs to drop the "L.C." gimmick and just use her first name. It's annoying. Do these two girls realize what they are publicly fighting over? So Lauren dated Brody Jenner, who is clearly a "Wannabe Anything Famous and living off of his dad's famous Olympic swimming last name. He should have just stuck with the awesomely fabulous Kristen Cavillari (whom you all hopefully remember from Laguna Beach) and rode on her back to fame. She was way cooler than all of this drama. Back to the outline, Heidi was also dating Brody's PAL, Spencer Pratt, who really does resemble the Geico Cave Man without all of the hair. Spencer's hair is gel'd and stiff looking. It looks like Ken doll hair, however, he is no Ken doll. So after Heidi loses all of her friends because she spends all of her time thinking that Spencer is way cooler than he is, she resorts to bribing a mutual friend of Lauren and herself into hooking up with Brody. She totally broke all codes of friendship (ladies, you should just instinctively know what these are). So Lauren told Heidi to shove off basically and that was that. Now Spencer and Heidi are seeking fame in every way possible and speaking out bad against Lauren. I am very embarrassed for all of them. Oh yeah...and Heidi claims she just wants to work on her Music with her music manager.....drum roll please.....SPENCER PRATT. I'm sure she will win a grammy.

IT CAME FROM OUTER SPACE...

Scientist have discovered that the universe's largest known planet, a giant ball made of mostly hydrogen that is 20 times larger than Earth and circling a star 1,400 light years away.
Way cool!! Anyone want to have a naming contest???

RED, WHITE, and POO

Why? That is all I really have to say about this fine candidate. If she actually becomes president, I may have to move to the nameless planet above.

IT'S ON!

The custody battle has begun! K-Fed, a.k.a, Eminem Wannabe, has filed for Physical Custody of he and Britney's children. In all seriousness, someone else has GOT to raise those innocent children. However, do I really think he is the person for the job?? Maybe so...at least if they aren't with her and he is never around, his hired nanny's might have some morals. CRAZY PEOPLE. And my suggestion to Britney above all else: Hire a Stylist!!!

WILL YOU MARRY HE?

The New Bachelor has been chosen and we will all get to see him in action on September 24! Brad Womack, is middle thirties and owns a few Saloons in Austin Texas with his brothers. Wahoo!! I just hope that this season they actually pick some decent girls as they were starting to scrape the bottom of the barrel the last time. Does anyone remember that little short blond with really really long FAKE blond bleach hair that rode in the race car with him and didn't talk? What were the casting director's thinking? Make sure you tune in as there will always be a comment or two or three or ten about the show on Tuesday mornings.

As my friend Meri Bar would say..."Be fabulous or Shut up!" Have a great day!

And a special shout out to my good friend, fashion stylist, and soul sister...Kristin McCaslin!! and her dog BUDDY.

Introduction to ME

2007-08-08T07:55:00.000-07:00

So here's where MY story is today. I'm a 28 year old female living in a very small town in Mississippi. As for my marital status, I don't like to use the word SINGLE so I'll refer to myself as a serial dater or as my friends see it a "serial dater in training". Lulu, my 1 year old Boston Terrier is my only child and she is precious.

I work for a small boutique hotel in the heart of downtown Greenwood and I get to do some fun stuff and then whatever I am told. I also get to listen to XM radio all day on my computer so it helps the day go by. My feet are constantly moving under the desk. I also have my own comfy office with a picture of Nick Lachey (sorry Vanessa) tacked on my bulletin board. He smiles at me at the start of each working day. Hellooooooooo Lover!

.

I graduated from the great University of Mississippi. I still love Ole Miss football and basically any SEC football game is worth watchingOxford will all have a piece of me and vise versa. I have a true love affair with that place. The shopping doesn't get much better and the food is always good. Plus, there is always a generous supply of nightlife, a feature one shouldn't live without.

Other general interests include reality TV, such as Laguna Beach, The Hills, The Real World, Run's House, Pimp My Ride, and anything basically on MTV. I also like The Bachelor, America's Next Top Model and The Pussycat Dolls, The Search for the Next Doll. I also have a thing for medical dramas...do you think this is possibly because of some unfilled void to go to Med School?

If I could start a Justin Timberlake Fan Club in Greenwood I would. However, I am not sure that all those true Justin Timberlake fans would come out of the closet to join me. Trust me...it's cool to a JT groupie. He defiantly brought sexy back and he ROCKS!!! So does Fergie, Timberland, Beyonce, Janet and Michael Jackson (it's the rhythm and beat, not the pedofile I love!).

My idols include Bill O'Reilly,because he is ALWAYS right and cannot be defeated in an argument. And whether or not he publicly admits it, he is so REPUBLICAN. Hell yeah!!
My other personal idol is Victoria a.k.a "Posh" Beckham because she wears four-inch heels in her bathing suit. How much more suave does it get?? And she has a different pair of designer shades for each day. She is the definition of FABULOUS.

Other general interests include, reading (magazines and novels), window shopping on the internet, working out and going out. Doesn't sound like very much gets accomplished does it? However, with a new season ahead, I am going to write a new chapter in the Life of Haley! Stay tuned as I'm sure I will share plenty of thoughts and stories that will entertain, puzzle, and sometimes make you just say "Why?".